Prologue
WES
Nine Years Earlier…
I punched through the side exit door, praying I didn’t set off a silent alarm.
I needed air.
I needed to get my shit under control.
I turned the corner, leaning against the side of the old church that had been constructed in the middle of downtown Austin. I tilted my head back against the rough brick and closed my eyes, taking a deep inhale.
Reaching into my coat pocket, I pulled out the flask I had tucked inside. I twisted off the cap and wasted no time pouring the whiskey down my throat, hoping the burn as it slid would take the edge off, giving me something else to focus on other than this damn wedding.
“I hope you saved some of that for me.”
With a slow turn of my head I looked over at the gorgeous bride-to-be as she sauntered toward me with a teasing smile on her face. She reached her hand out for the flask. I passed it to her without hesitation, watching her closely as she pressed her perfect lips against the bottle.
She squeezed her eyes shut, her face pinching as the bite of the liquor hit her throat. Fighting back a cough, she covered her mouth with the back of her hand, trying to pretend like the whiskey wasn’t tough to swallow.
I grinned at her then glanced at our surroundings, wondering what the hell she was doing out here where anybody could see her. Granted, we were on the backside of the church and the likelihood was slim, it was still risky.
Unexpected.
An answered prayer.
“What are you doing out here? Isn’t it bad luck or something to see the bride before the wedding?”
She rolled her eyes with a smile. “That only applies to the groom,” she said, before taking one more shot straight out of the flask and passing it back to me.
I took it, taking one more of my own, before twisting the lid back on and tucking it away in my suit jacket. “Still doesn’t explain what you’re doing out here. Alone.”
“I’m not alone. I’m here with you,” she countered, claiming the space beside me on the wall as she stared straight ahead, her mind seeming to drift.
It didn’t surprise me at all she had little concern about messing up her dress. She’d always been laid back, since the day we met as kids. It’s one of the many reasons why we clicked.
I shook my head at her avoidance, a slow smile taking over my face. I already knew the answer, even if she refused to say it out loud. She was hiding. From what, I wasn’t sure.
After admiring how beautiful she looked for a few seconds, I playfully nudged my shoulder against hers to get her full attention. She looked over at me, our eyes connecting, a familiar crackle sparking between us as I held her gaze. It was that same spark I’d felt since I was seventeen. The one I refused to acknowledge.
“Talk to me, sweetheart. What’s on your mind?”
A light sigh left her lips as she looked away from me again. There were a few beats of silence before she finally spoke. “It’s nothing, really. Probably just the notorious cold feet everyone talks about.”
I shoved my hands into my pants pockets, resisting the urge to reach for the flask again. The anxious energy that had lifted only moments ago returned. There was no sense in getting my hopes up.
“It’s just…it’s silly really…” She heaved another sigh, then straightened her small frame as she stepped away from the wall and turned to face me. “Dad said something jokingly and I’m overthinking it.”
“You, overthink something? Never,” I teased.
She laughed with a slight shake of her head as she looked down at her feet. “I know. Right?” She used her sarcasm to conceal her nerves.
“What did he say?”
She shrugged, her eyes looking everywhere but at me, her teeth gnawing on her bottom lip.
“Cricket?” I prodded some more with my old nickname for her. She was a tiny thing. Always had been. She was my little Jiminy Cricket, keeping me out of trouble my whole life.
She looked up, her eyes searching, her face full of apprehension. “He was only teasing me about how he’d been dreading this day since I was born…that for a long time he thought he’d be giving me away to you one day… Crazy, right?”
My heart raced with her words, with the way she looked at me expectantly. There was a hint of hopefulness in her eyes, or maybe I was just imagining it. I swallowed the knot in my throat as I tried to talk myself out of telling her how I really felt about her.
I’d been fighting my feelings for her since the night I almost kissed her on the tailgate of my truck. We were young then, barely figuring out the world for ourselves.
We’d been friends forever and I hadn’t wanted to ruin what we had. I hadn’t wanted to ruin her dreams of moving to the city, knowing I was rooted in Billingsley. For years, I’d always wondered if she felt the same way about me. If she felt that crackle in the air like I did every time she was near.
The day I got the invitation, I figured I had my answer. I drowned myself in a sea of whiskey, trying to convince myself it was for the best as I traced my thumb repeatedly over her gold-foiled name on the card. I was set on not coming to this damn wedding until I’d convinced myself in the final hour that I needed to get it all off my chest and tell her everything.
It’s how I ended up out here in a black suit and tie, silently freaking out until she walked up. She’d just given me the opening I needed, almost like she was begging me to give her a reason to not go through with the wedding.
I wanted to give her that reason, tell her it was me she belonged with. But as I stared at her in her dress, moments away from walking down the aisle, I couldn’t do it.
For all I knew, this was just a momentary freak-out for her. I wasn’t going to be the one to potentially destroy her happiness, no matter how selfish I wanted to be in the moment. A sharp pain stabbed at my chest as I realized what I was about to do… It looked like her dad wouldn’t be the only one giving her away today.
I reached out, brushing a stray hair from her forehead, giving her a forced smile that I hoped looked genuine as I told her the biggest lie of my life.
“Complete madness.” The words were strangled as I said them. I averted my eyes as she locked onto them, hoping she couldn’t see the deception there. Clearing my throat, I dropped my hand from her soft skin and tucked it safely in my pocket. “Your old man must be sneaking a few pre-game shots himself.”
She nodded with a smile. She didn’t seem surprised by my answer and I tried to ignore the disappointment in her eyes. “Yeah,” she said, looking away from me. “Like I said, I’m just being silly. We both know we’ve never been more than just friends. And besides, you aren’t the marrying kind anyway, right? Isn’t that what you’ve always told me?”
There was a protective bite to her words. The way she was suddenly lashing out at me was confusing, even if she was just repeating something I’d told her years ago when she’d returned home during a summer break from college.
She’d been giving me a hard time about the girls I was hooking up with, while she had a steady boyfriend back at school—the man she’d soon be marrying. I’d said those words to throw her off from my true feelings, and because part of me didn’t want to end up like my old man and younger brother—lonely and broken from losing the only women they’d ever loved.
Mom had died when we were young, leaving my father to raise us kids on his own, and my brother, Tucker, had been devastated when his longtime girlfriend skipped town without a word. I was young and stupid at the time, I tossed those words so freely in her face, my pride and ego more important than telling Jenna that I wanted more for us than just our friendship. That same ego and pride were working their way up my spine as I straightened and stepped away from her.
Before either of us could say more, the door I’d escaped through earlier came open. Both of us turned to look as Jen’s roommate from college popped her head around the corner.
“There you are! We’ve been looking everywhere for you!”
I took another few steps away from Jen, afraid I’d lose control of my urge to grab her and beg her to stay with me, to run away with me.
“I didn’t interrupt anything, did I?” her friend, Stacy, teased, not knowing how on target she was.
“Nah,” I said, winking at Stacy. “Just a few last-minute celebratory shots before our girl here ties the knot. You want to join us?”
“I wish I could, but we’re being told it’s go time... How about you find me later and we’ll take a few of our own together,” she suggested confidently with a seductive grin. Her confidence wasn’t surprising; she was a cute girl.
“You can count on it, sweetheart,” I said, playing the role everyone expected me to play.
Jen exaggerated the clearing of her throat. I turned to look at her once again. I wished I hadn’t. That final look broke me as she told me just how she truly felt with her eyes—disappointed, angry, hurt.
She turned her back to me and walked away without another word. I panicked in that moment, her name coming out in a rush, “Jen! Wait!”
She stopped, spinning around to look at me. I froze for a split second, not knowing what the hell I was doing. I glanced between her and Stacy, realizing I needed to get control of my fucking emotions and stop falling apart like a damn pussy. They both waited for me to speak, so I said the first thing I could think of. The truth.
“I hope he makes you happy, Cricket.”
Her eyes glistened with unshed tears as she nodded with a weak smile. She walked the rest of the way, meeting Stacy at the building corner, giving me one final glance over her shoulder before disappearing from my view.
I didn’t stick around to watch her wedding. I didn’t trust myself to not stand up when the preacher asked if anyone objected to their union. Instead, I hauled ass out of town as fast and as far as I could from her.
